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商务英语初级信函写作，应当力图行文简洁有力，重点突出，以下是在这方面需要注意的点。
(一) 避免使用陈旧的商业术语 陈旧的与传统的商业术语(Commercial jargon)对信的内容没有什么作用，应该避免使用。 例一： Wordy: We wish to acknowledge receipt of your letter of November 14 with the check for Stg.10 enclosed and wish to thank you for same. Concise: We appreciate your letter of November 14 and the check for Stg. 10 you sent with it. 例二： Wordy: We take liberty to approach you with the request that you would be kind enough to introduce to us some exporters of cotton textiles in your cities. Would you please introduce to us some exporters of cotton textiles in your city? Concise: (a) Please introduce to us some exporters of cotton textiles in your city. (b)Would you please introduce to us some exporters of cotton textiles in your city. (注：此类简洁的表达方式很多。) (二) 要长话短说，避免罗嗦 通常商业人士每天需要阅读大量的书信，对开门见山，长话短说，直接切题的信特别欢迎。因此， 写信要力求长话短说， 例如：不要写 应写作 Please see that an enquiry is conducted to determine the reason. Please find out the reason. We express our regret at being unable to fulfill your order on this occasion. We are sorry we cannot meet your present order. 要使用简洁的语言，有可能的话， 尽量使用单词来代替某些娇柔做作的短语。 删去不必要的形容词，如下列句子中的形容词或副词删去后并不影响句子的原意： The proposal is under (active) consideration. The answer is (definitely) correct. I would (rather) think the fare is too high. The (true) facts are as stated. (三) 要注意每句句子的长短 例如："We would like to know whether you would allow us to extend the time of shipment for twenty days, and if you would be so kind as to allow us to do so, kindly give us your reply by cable without delay." 这句话过分"客气"，使句子过长而不清楚。内容要求对方同意延期交货20天，一般情况下，应尽可能提出延期到那一天的具体日期。这句话可压缩为："Please reply by telegram immediately if you will allow us to delay the shipment until April 21."(如同意我们把交货延期到四月二十一日，请电复。) 有的作者为了使人们记住避免使用陈旧的商业术语，专门选择了一些他认为陈旧的商业术语搞成一首诗： We beg to advise and wish to state That yours has arrived of recent date. We have it before us, its contents noted; Herewith enclosed are the prices we quoted. Attached please find, as per your request, The data you wanted; and not let us suggest Your order be sent, and not held unduly, We beg to remain, yours most truly. |
